The Search For The Ultimate Skank

Have you seen this show, "Search For the Ultimate Coyote Ugly?"

I have never seen so many skanks in a one hour block of time in my life.

The two ho's in the bottom pic were the winners last year.

Interestingly enough, the author of Eat Pray Love was once a Coyote, and her first taste of literary success was a GQ article about her experiences, which was turned in to the Coyote Ugly movie.

Just Finished Reading This

I finally got to see what all the fuss was about over this book. It's the author's memoir of how she got over her nasty divorce by spending a year eating her ass off in Italy, being all spiritual in India, and shagging a hot Brazilian guy in Bali.

I had a hard time getting over my initial feeling of "Gee, it must be nice being able to get over a divorce by travelling the world instead of eating three pounds of chocolate a day and fantasizing about different ways to off the ex," but I will admit it kept me interested.

Lobster Pound in Bar Harbor Porn

As a born and bred Maritimer, I find it kind of silly to eat lobster in fancy-ass expensive restaurants. I mean, you're trying to look civilized while wearing a plastic bib.

Lobster is not high-falutin' food, it's just priced that way. Lobster is messy! It's meant to be eaten outside at a picnic table covered in newspaper, wearing old clothes because you get splattered with lobster juice, and you need band-aids, because you'll probably get a cut or two cracking the shell.

Now, the lobster pound... this is how to eat lobster! Steamed lobster, corn on the cob, coleslaw and a drink for $20, and plastic tablecloths!

Popover Porn in Acadia National Park

Click on the pic to get the full drool-worthy effect of the popovers


In Acadia National Park, is the Jordan Pond restaurant, which first opened in 18-something, to serve afternoon tea to the filthy rich summer people. Their big thing is afternoon tea and popovers on the lawn overlooking Jordan Pond and those two mountains in the back, known as "The Bubbles," or "The Boobies, as Peter called them.

We ate here twice. I had their signature lobster stew the first time. It was amazing.

The next day we had tea on the front lawn. The popovers are AWESOME! They serve them with butter and strawberry preserves. The thing with the knife sticking out of it in the first picture is a popover filled with chocolate ice cream (made on the premises) with chocolate sauce drizzled on top.

I was one happy camper when these pics were taken.

Back to Maine! Porn Inn in Bar Harbor

We spent a night at a place called "Aysgarth Station." It had a great porch, which I totally hogged. It also had the most awesome toiletries, with Aysgarth Station labels, and Tom's of Maine toothpaste. I pinched it all. Plus, the end of the toilet paper was folded into a point, which always gives me a charge, for some reason. I couldn't sleep that night, so I got up at something like 1am and sat on the couch in the porny living room with one of the inn cats and read all about Bar Harbor and Mount Desert Island while drinking tea and hot chocolate. It was really nice.

I Can See!

For 26 years the very first thing I've done when I wake up in the morning is grope on the nightstand for my glasses (my eyes were so bad I was essentially blind).

I can't even remember all the glasses I've worn, but I've had enormous upside frames that made me look like an insect, coke-bottle lenses in the days before the thinner high-index lenses, some not-so-bad glasses, and a few really nice pairs in the past ten years.

I spent about 15 years poking contact lenses into my eyes, and spent a small fortune on the whole mess.

Now I can see!

It's absolutely amazing. :)

What's Missing in the Second Picture?

The glasses! I'm getting laser eye surgery tomorrow morning! I've been so busy on vacation with the Boy this week (on vacation with a four year-old is an oxymoron if there ever was one) that I haven't had time to think about it, but it sounds very gross, and I'm getting pretty nervous. But they give you a happy pill if you want, and it takes just 10 -15 minutes, then I am free of glasses!